


Bring Watney Home

by orphan_account



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: But its fun, Gen, Social Media, i know there are a million of these
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:00:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6522766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Social media. A collection of one-shots that show the world's reactions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bring Watney Home

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i did this chapter pretty quick so there might be some errors. i'll work on formatting later. thanks for reading!

Amy Porter: Hello! I'm Amy Porter, and today I'm coming to you live from NASA with breaking news: Mark Watney is still alive. How? We're waiting on a statement. But he's very much alive. We know nothing about his current state or any plans for a rescue mission, but we'll update you as information becomes available. NASA employees have their work cut out for them: the support for Watney is tremendous and is growing exponentially as information is released, meaning people aren't feeling too pro-NASA. In the past ten minutes, a campaign under the name of Bring Him Home has risen on social media, trending in over 6 countries worldwide. People want to know how NASA could've made such a mistake, and how they plan to ratify it before it's too late. Signing off, this is Amy Porter. I'll be back within the hour with more news on Astronaut Mark Watney.

* * *

**jo** @jaemsharold

fuck i'm actually crying i can only imagine how terrified and alone mark must feel #bringhimhome

 

**HarrietSchreidman** @HarrietSchreidman

I had the pleasure of meeting Mark a few years ago and he was unbelievably genuine and kind and full of life. @NASA please #BringHimHome

 

**ray** @fukcfuckfuck

NASA fucked up #BringHimHome

 

**Giovani** @Giomanny

how he alive though?? anyone know ? #BringHimHome

 

        **oob** @fearlcsss

        @Giomanny apparently the  communication antenna blew out his bio thing. he made it to the hab and. yeah just read nasa's statement

 

**rt your fav** @rtyourfavorite

mark watney (#BringHimHome) [Picture: Mark Watney sitting on a couch, giving a thumbs up]

 

**i dont care** @pakcks

l m a o some astronaut's stuck on mars and everyone's flipping their shit

 

        **Mary** @Mcthermayi

        @pakcks May I ask what's funny?

 

        **i dont care** @pakcks

        @Mcthermayi i just think it's funny that everyone's freaking out omg he's not gonna live you know that right

 

        **Mary** @Mcthermayi

       @packcks Wow well. Okay. Some people aren't heartless and they care about Watney so don't be rude please bye

 

**Ares III** @AresIII

Still recovering from that memorial service earlier. We miss you, Mark. [Picture: Ares III crew, arms around each other. Mark's holding up bunny ears behind Beck's head]

 

        **phoebe !!** @pheebles

       @AresIII shit... do yall not know

 

        **Nat** @JayCatNat

       @AresIII This is super sad but he's not dead though ??

 

        **FUCK NASA** @hardpermor

       @AresIII wow of course nasa didn't tell you guys. what did i expect from those cowards #bringhimhome

* * *

 

thetimehascoem: 

 

 

 

 

> so. i'm sure most of you guys saw what went down earlier but i've been seeing lots of questions and general confusion so let me sum things up for you: NASA SUCKS. first of all, if you haven't heard, mark watney's still alive. they left him on fucking mars. they said in a press release that they would have discovered he was alive sooner but they didn't check the satellites "because none were available" (code for: "we were scared of a pr problem") but the main reason people are so pissed is because they didn't tell the crew ?? which is cowardly and ridiculous. and then, after not telling the crew, martinez (who took over the ares iii account in mark's absence) posted to their twitter account about how sad they were over mark's death. people got riled up in the comments and told them what happened, but i'm guessing they didn't see because they'd have said something. anyway, nasa saw these comments and instead of owning up to their assholiness they deactivated the ares iii twitter account and claimed they did it "because it was hacked" so like ??? anyway i'm pissed and you should all go torment nasa on twitter until they figure their shit out
> 
>  

 

 

* * *

 

 

Trending Now

 

#BringHimHome

#FuckNASA

#TellTheCrew

Ares III

Mark Watney

 

* * *

 

 

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON TRANSCRIPT

 

JF: I had a whole script set up for today, a very funny script prepared for my monologue today, but after what happened earlier I scrapped it. I couldn't not make fun of NASA. They fucked up. I mean guys, I'm sure you've kept up with the news and, just, my God, every time I updated the news more and more people were mad at NASA. These scientists, these genius scientists have screwed up more in the last eight hours than I have, ever. And that's saying something. I'm still... [LAUGHS] I'm laughing but it really isn't that funny. A man is stuck on mars. A man I interviewed myself once, a very funny, good-hearted man, but damn, this is the first time in my life I can call a group of genius scientists stupid. What'd they think was gonna happen? They left a man on Mars and didn't tell the crew, and then, _and then_ Teddy Sanders, the actual _director_ of NASA, said, and I mean these were his exact words, "Please stop yelling at us. This hatred's unwarranted. Remember, we're the only ones who can bring Watney home." Essentially, NASA made some awful mistakes, people got mad, and then NASA went, "No, don't yell at us, you're hurting our feelings." and Sanders even mentioned bringing Watney home as though that's some sort of leverage. Its not. This is a man we're talking about and Teddy's like "Make us feel bad and we'll leave him for dead." Whatever, whatever. That's all I'm gonna say for my monologue, today. I wish Watney the best, I truly do. Bring him home, NASA. Bring him home.

 

 


End file.
